“not my fat ass”
—me while evaluating a very small space my thin friends somehow expect me to occupy (via fatphrodite)
ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.
(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)
do you ever see a picture of someone with a body like yours and you’re momentarily comforted like they look pretty good…i probably look good too
The public throng to see her live.
*talking to white*
me: hey montgomery we’re friends right? can i ask you a question?
timothy: my name is actually chester but yes
me: why did you pass the chinese
exclusion act in 1882